by Genevieve Schmitt
It’s no secret that relationships are under attack. Marriages are crumbling. Children
have lost respect for their parents. Teachers are opposing parents. And neighbors are no longer neighborly. My husband and I tried to make an appointment with a marriage
therapist last summer to help dig out of a tough spot and found that counselors were booked solid for months. When we finally got in to see someone, she informed us therapy sessions were way up. Calamities caused by covid combined with the cacophony of corrupt narratives crying out for space in the landscapes of our minds left humans so hurt, beat up, and confused that many lost their peace, their purpose, and their sanity.
Knowing God has all the answers I tuned in to hear what the Holy Spirit had to say. Just turning my “ear” to God opened a pathway. During one heated discussion with my husband, a flash went through my mind’s eye of a spike strip, the kind cops use to stop a fleeing motorist, rolled out before me on the living room rug, separating he and I. Then I heard God tell me that the enemy of our souls, Satan, is trying to divide my husband and me. From that point on, I knew I was in a spiritual battle for my marriage. All relationship struggles are spiritual battles. The Bible tells us that “we are not wrestling with flesh and blood,” meaning people, “but rather against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Please tell me you know that there are evil forces in our world surreptitiously working through cracks in human hearts to inflict pain and destruction on others.
The words blame, fault, criticize, accuse, and attack started showing up in conversations in my home. Wait, isn’t marriage a team effort? Isn’t a husband for his wife and a wife for her husband? Isn’t a mom and dad for their son and daughter? Isn’t a teacher for the parent’s upbringing of the child? Isn’t a true friend
supposed to serve another in love?
In any team relationship the words blame, fault, criticize, accuse, and attack should not be present. Look, I’m no psychologist, but I do know what seems at odds with my spirit inside a loving, caring relationship. There are universal desires of the heart to be heard, seen, and known by another. But before that can happen, we must look inside our own flawed hearts and minds before casting blame and finding fault with another. We’ve all heard the Golden Rule that originates in the Bible told to us by Jesus Christ that says treat others as you want to be treated. It’s in Luke 6:31. Problem is a lot of folks have a tainted view of themselves so that truth gets compromised. I like to lean on this truth in the Bible that says, “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”
This rule has a very high success rate. I know this firsthand. When we look inward at our own flaws before pointing the finger, relationships work themselves out a lot easier. This kind of action calls for humility and giving up our need to be right. And it’s hard to do in our own strength that’s why we need a force more powerful than ourselves. That force is love. God is love and God gave us His son, Jesus, to manifest love in action on the earth. Our fleshly versions of love are flawed. We need the right kind of love to make relationships work. If we know Jesus and accept Him into our lives to literally save us from our flawed selves, we have a high probability of being able to manifest the kind of spiritual type love that heals relationships.
If just one heart is softened or one relationship salvaged, then it’s worth the time to cover the heavy stuff here. Sure, I could write about parties, parades, and paradise but that’s not going to change the condition of hearts, and when hearts change, families and relationships are saved. And that’s what’s important in our culture right now. Do yourself a favor and find a Bible and look up Matthew 7:3-5. Read it out loud. Then mediate on it for at least a day. See if your heart isn’t changed by the end of the day. I love you.
Genevieve Schmitt is an award-winning journalist who started her career in television news, then transitioned to the entertainment, and then motorcycling industries. She can be found a GenevieveSchmitt.com.